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Beer Drinking Quotes

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
Homer Simpson
Drinking light beer is like having sex in a canoe... fucking close to water.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Stephen Wright
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.
Jack Handy
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
Homer Simpson
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Dave Barry
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
Jack Handy
He was a wise man who invented beer.
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Frank Zappa
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
Tom Waits
Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one.
Homer Simpson
Quaintest thoughts, queerest fancies, come to life and fade away. What care I how the day advances, I am drinking ale today.
Edgar Allan Poe
What event is more awfully important to an English colony than the erection of its first brewhouse?
Rev. Sydney Smith
Mike Hammer drinks beer because I can't spell cognac.
Mickey Spillane
I like beer
it makes me a jolly good fellow
I like beer
it helps me unwind
and sometimes it makes me feel mellow...
Tom T. Hall
There's damsels in distress out there, and we got all this beer.
Jimmy Buffett
We'll raise up our glasses against evil forces singin' "Whiskey for my men, and beer for our horses"
Toby Keith and WIllie Nelson
There's a tear in my beer...
Hank Williams Sr.
Liquor before beer, never fear. Beer before liquor, never sicker.

And as the moon rises he sits by his fire, thinking of women and glasses of beer.
James Taylor
Bart: "Can I get you a beer, Dad?" Lisa: "No, I want to get him a beer!" Homer: "Kids, kids. You can both get me a beer."
The Simpsons
Give me oysters and beer, for dinner every day of the year, and I'll be fine.
Jimmy Buffett
I wouldn't wash my car in it ... It's bubble-gum beer.
Ottmar Riesing, a Bavarian Beer Club member referring to Budweiser.
Give my people plenty of beer, good beer and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution.
Queen Victoria
Spilling your beer is the worst form of alcohol abuse.

I will make it a felony to drink small beer.
Henry IV, Shakespeare
If you give a man a fish, you will have fed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

People who drink light 'beer don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer.
John Churchill, First Duke of Marlborough
Beer... it's what's for dinner.

Make sure that the beer - four pints a week - goes to the troops under fire before any of the parties in the rear get a drop.
Winston Churchill to his Secretary of War, 1944
Whoever serves beer or wine watered down, he himself deserves in them to drown.
Medieval saying
There is only one game at the heart of America and that is baseball, and only one beverage to be found sloshing at the depths of our national soul and that is beer.
Peter Richmond
[I recommend] bread, meat, vegetables and beer.
Sophocles' advice on diet
This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption... Beer!
Friar Tuck in Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves
Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire.
David Rains Wallace
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
Kaiser Welhelm
One of the hallmarks of the baby boomer generation is that it doesn't live like the previous generation. It hasn't yet given up jeans and T-shirts or beer.
Ron Klugman, SVP, Coors Brewing
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
Henry Lawson
For we could not now take time for further search (to land our ship) our victuals being much spent, especially our Beer.
Ship's log of the Mayflower
I've never been into wine. I'm a beer man. What I like about beer is you basically just drink it and order more. You don't sniff at it, or hold it up to the light and slosh it around, or drone on and on about it, the way people do with wine. Your beer drinker tend to be a straightforward, decent, friendly, down-to-earth person, whereas your serious wine fancier tends to be an insufferable snot.
Dave Barry
I like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate a major event such as the fall of Communism or the fact that the refrigerator is still working.
Dave Barry
When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.
Dave Barry
It was as natural as eating and to me as necessary, and I would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking beer.
Ernest Hemingway
This beer is good for you. This is draft beer. Stick with the beer. Let's go and beat this guy up and come back and drink some more beer.
Ernest Hemingway
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.

Life is too short to drink cheap beer.

It's not just for breakfast anymore

If you can't taste it, why bother!

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.
Dave Barry
Draft beer, not people!

Helping ugly people have sex since 1869!

Cold War bad. Cold BEER good.

In wine there is wisdom. In beer there is strength. In water there is bacteria.
German Proverb
Good people drink good beer.
Ancient Celtic axiom
There is an ancient Celtic axiom that says 'Good people drink good beer.' Which is true, then as now. Just look around you in any public barroom and you will quickly see: Bad people drink bad beer. Think about it.
Hunter S. Thompson
Payday came and with it beer.
Rudyard Kipling
Beer brewers shall sell no beer to the citizens, unless it be three weeks old; to the foreigner they may knowingly sell younger beer.
German beer law, 1466
Whiskey and Beer are a man's worst enemies... but the man that runs away from his enemies is a coward!
Zeca Pagodinho
There is more to life than beer alone, but beer makes those other things even better.
Stephen Morris
I wish to see this beverage (beer) become common instead of the whiskey which kills one-third of our citizens and ruins their families.
Thomas Jefferson, January 6, 1816, speaking of beer
I work until beer o'clock.
Stephen King
Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer.
Frederick the Great, Prussian ruler
We're wanted men, we'll strike again, but first let's have a beer.
Jimmy Buffett
You can never buy beer, you just rent it.
Archie Bunker
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